Saturday, February 2, 2013

Man Says Goodbye to his Dog

A back room at a veterinarian hospital, darkened softly in late afternoon. A willow tree bends with the wind gently against the building. The presiding doctor who will administer the euthanasia has left briefly. The dog, Jumper, tired, about fifteen years old, lies on a cushioned table. The man, in his middle forties, eyes straining and fretful, leans over the dog with arms wrapped tightly around his fur. His face is against the dog’s. 
 Man: [draws dog closer] I ’m sorry, Jumper. I’m sorry… 
 Dog: I don’t like it here. This is a sad place. I can hear them in the rooms. No one wants to be here.  Man: I didn’t know what else to do. 
 Dog: We’ve been so sad for so long. 
 Man: I didn’t know what else…do you hurt much? 
 Dog: The same. It’s just different now. 
 Man: I hated your pain. I hated seeing you crying. Not being able to get up the stairs. 
 Dog: It used to be so easy to run up and down. Sometimes I’d jump all the way. 
 Man: [smiling sadly] “Jumper”. 
 Dog: Then it got harder and harder. I got so tired. 
Man: You’re the best dog in the world…I can’t… 
 Dog: That was a long time ago. 
 Man: [trying to hold together] We did so much, Jumper. All the places we’ve been. 
 Dog: Mountains and rivers and dog parks and forests. 
 Man: The long trail in the hills we used to go. Man, we traveled those trails a thousand times. 
 Dog: More than that. 
 Man: The great backpacking adventures in the Eastern Sierra…you never got tired, always out in front. Dog: So many smells! I couldn’t categorize them all. A lot of them I still don’t know. 
 Man: We had great times. 
 Dog: I guess I won’t need those smells now… 
 Man: [shuddering] We had great times together. The best. 
 Dog: Boy, what’s going to happen? 
 Man: [remains silent] 
 Dog: What’s going to happen to me? 
 Man: You’ll go to sleep. A sweet, peaceful sleep. 
 Dog: Will you be there when I wake up? 
 Man: [chest swelling painfully] I’ll be here. 
Dog: But you’ll be there when I wake up. You’ll be there. 
 Man: Remember the ocean? 
 Dog: [smiles vaguely, yet warmly] I loved the ocean. Sun on the Pacific. Great white frothing crashing waves.
 Man: You loved those sticks.
 Dog: All kinds of sticks. Tennis balls. 
 Man: Soaking wet, your legs shaking from the cold, and still you dropped that stick at my feet. 
 Dog: It was so much fun. Good exercise too. 
 Man: We loved the ocean. 
  The veterinarian has quietly entered the room and is preparing the needle. He is behind the dog out of view. The man raises his head briefly to acknowledge the young doctor. Nothing is said between them.
Man: Jumper, the doc’s just going to give you a shot to help you sleep. 
 Dog: [his spirit spins and rages] Boy, don’t leave me here. I don’t want to be here. 
 Man: [trying to remain calm through his tears rising] It’s okay, Jumper. It’s okay. 
 Dog: Is this it? Is this all? 
 Man: I’m right here. I love you. You’re the best dog in the world and I love you. 
 Dog: Was I not good? Why am I here? I did everything I was supposed to. 
 Man: [crying now] It just got too bad. Your pain. I couldn’t bear it. You couldn’t bear it. 
 Dog: Don’t leave me, boy. Take me home. I promise I won’t cry. I won’t whine. I want to go home. Man: I’m sorry, Jumper, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! 
  The doctor has administered the shot. The work should be done in minutes. 
 Dog: Boy, there’s something wrong. There’s something…it’s fog, it’s dark fog… 
 Man: [holding the dog tightly as humanly possible, feeling his heart] I’m right here, Jumper! I’m here! Dog: I’m scared, boy! I’m so scared! I don’t want to be alone. Where am I going? 
 Man [beside himself with profound grief, for his dog, for himself] I don’t know…I don’t… 
 Dog: Don’t leave me, boy. I’m scared. Man: It’s all right, Jumper. I’m here. I’m here. I love you! 
 Dog: I’m so scared. 
 Man: [terrified] Wait for me! I’ll find you. Find an ocean. Wait there. I’ll be there, I’ll find you… 
 Dog: [he is drifting] Where am I going…hold me, boy. Please hold me. 
 Man: I’m sorry, Jumper! I didn’t know what to do! I’m so sorry… The veterinarian has eased softly out of the room. 
 Dog: The pain is gone. It’s gone. I feel so strong, so alive. 
 Man: [sensing the dog’s shallow breathing] No, no please. Jumper, don’t go! Oh god! 
 Dog: I see things. There. Who are they? 
 Man: Oh Jumper, I love you so. You’re the best dog in the world. 
 Dog: [barely hearing the man] I know them. Boy, I know them. Your parents. I see them. They’re alive.
 Man: [cries softly and holds his dog]… 
 Dog: I see them. They’re smiling on me. They’re reaching out to me. Oh it’s been so long since I’ve seen them. 
 Man: [realizing his dog has passed, holds tighter and breaths into his fur] Jumper… 
 Dog: The cats and dogs. I recognize some of them. I know them. So many of them, all yours. They’ve all waited. 
 Man: [feeling the life has gone] Wait for me, Jumper. Wait for me… 
 Dog: [turning to the man] Nothing’s changed. I’m not scared. I’ve been here all along. I’m right here, boy. 
 Man: I love you, Jumper. 
 Dog: [knowing the man can’t hear, but whispers anyway] I love you, boy. I found the ocean. It's here. The same one. I’ll be right there. I’ll be waiting. I see the trail to the clouds far off. Oh it's beautiful. I’ll wait for you. We’ll all go together. 
  The man resolves to leave, inhales deeply, then, sliding his arms from the dog, begins to let go…